It is difficult to define Prayer directly, but some powerful things can be said about Prayer… what it is, and what it is not.  Here are a few of those thoughts, and five images of how we might approach Prayer in our own lives.

• Prayer is not “putting coins into a vending machine.”  It is not an “If-Then” proposition, nor is the outcome of our prayers determined by “how many we get to pray for us.”  Our prayers to God are not built on the Law of God, but rather we are moved to pray in response to his Grace.
• Prayer is meant to increase our needs, rather than a means to fulfill our needs.  Prayer invites us to increase our need to forgive, love and show mercy to others.  It also increases our need for forgiveness as we become aware of our own shortcomings and brokenness (sometimes called “sin”).
• Prayer should be the steering wheel of our life, more than the spare tire.  Is prayer something we turn to, hold on to, and that which steers our life each day?  Or is prayer simply a spare tire that we grab in case of emergencies?
• You cannot take your needs to God (in the right state of mind, and with the right heart) – until you realize that God always knows all your needs before you ask them.  This is what grants us freedom in prayer.
• Prayer expands God’s presence.  (Abraham said this.)  If you want to know God’s presence in your life, more often – then pray!
• Our own personal, self-centered interests usually dam up the response that God desires to give us.  If we could “get out of the way” more often – our prayers would be stronger, and we would hear God’s voice in response with greater clarity.
• If we try to figure out God’s will before we pray, our prayers are simply a “listening to our own voices.”

When we pray, we should pray like…

• A ten-year old who wants a puppy… “Can I have a puppy?  Why can’t I have a puppy?  Why don’t you like puppies?  Mom said I could have a puppy.  So can I have a puppy?”
• A teenager who wants permission to go out and meet a friend.
• A two-year old who wants his mother’s attention… “Mom.  Mom.  Mom.  Mom.  Mommy.  Mom.”

Prayer is how we speak to God.  But perhaps more importantly, it is how God speaks to us.  Some in scripture believe that God only speaks in a “still, small voice,” a whisper… so to hear him, a person needs to quiet himself, shut out all the competing noise and voices… and listen for that quiet voice of God.

This, in a word, is prayer.

Denominational Light Bulb Jokes

(Take this with a smile, it’s not meant to insult anyone. We all need to laugh at ourselves from time-to-time. We Presbyterians are still waiting to hear back from the committee our elders appointed about what our answer should be -jw)

How many Charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one since his/her hands are in the air anyway.

-Or-

Five. One to change the bulb and four to bind the spirit of darkness in the room.

How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. God has predestined when the lights will be on.

-Or-

Calvinists do not change light bulbs. They simply read out the instructions and pray the light bulb will decide to change itself.

How many neo-evangelicals does it take to change a light bulb?

No one knows. They can’t tell the difference between light and darkness.

How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb?

Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.

How many fundamentalists or independent Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one because any more would be compromise and ecumenical standards of light would slip.

How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?

At least ten, as they need to hold a debate on whether or not the light bulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the light bulb, they still may not change it to keep from alienating those who might use other forms of light.

How many Anglicans or Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They always use candles.

How many campfire worship leaders does it take to change light bulb?

One. But soon all those around can warm up to its glowing.

How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb?

Ten. One to call the electrician, and nine to say how much they liked the old one better.

-Or-

Four. One to change the bulb. One to bless the elements. One to pour the sherry. And one to offer a toast to the old light bulb.

How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?

CHANGE???????

-Or-

At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.

How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?

About 16,000,000. However, they are badly divided over whether changing the bulb is a fundamental need or not.

How many Nazarenes does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb. Another to replace the new with the old after shaking it and finding it can be revived with a second blessing.

-Or-

Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

How many United Church of Christ members does it take to change a light bulb?

Eleven. One to change the light bulb. And ten more to organize a covered dish supper that will follow the changing of the bulb service.

How many Lutherans does it take to change a light bulb?

There is some question here. But we have it on good authority that they have appointed a committee to study the issue and report back at their next meeting.

-Or-

We read that we are to so fear and love God that we cannot by our own effort or understanding comprehend the replacement of an electromagnetic photon source. It is, rather by faith, NOT by our efforts (effected toward the failed worldly incandescence), that we truly see, and that our own works cannot fully justify us in the presence of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Of course, it is still dark.

-Or-

None. Lutherans don’t believe in change.

How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb?

What’s a light bulb?

How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One man to change bulb & four wives to tell him how to do it.

How many Presbyterians does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

How many Unitarians does it take to change a light bulb?

300. 12 to sit on the Board which appoints the Nominating and Personnel Committee. 5 to sit on the Nominating and Personnel Committee, which appoints the House Committee. 8 to sit on the House Committee, which appoints the Light Bulb changing committee. 4 to sit on the Light Bulb Changing Committee, which chooses who will screw in the Light Bulb–those 4 then give their own opinion of “screwing in methods” while the one actually does the installation. After completion it takes 100 individuals to complain about the method of installation and another 177 to debate the ecological impact of using the light bulb at all.

How many United Methodists does it take to change a light bulb?

We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey, you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship to your light bulb and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-lived, and tinted; all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence through Jesus Christ.

-Or-

Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved –you can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Did Luther Exhort Christians to “Sin Boldly?”

The Letter to Melanchthon ends with the famous “sin boldly” statement:

“If you are a preacher of grace, then preach a true and not a fictitious grace; if grace is true, you must bear a true and not a fictitious sin. God does not save people who are only fictitious sinners. Be a sinner and sin boldly, but believe and rejoice in Christ even more boldly, for he is victorious over sin, death, and the world. As long as we are here [in this world] we have to sin. This life is not the dwelling place of righteousness, but, as Peter says, we look for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells. It is enough that by the riches of God’s glory we have come to know the Lamb that takes away the sin of the world. No sin will separate us from the Lamb, even though we commit fornication and murder a thousand times a day. Do you think that the purchase price that was paid for the redemption of our sins by so great a Lamb is too small? Pray boldly—you too are a mighty sinner.”

December 8 – 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season
and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window
watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a
Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love
snow!
December 9 – We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there
be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best
idea I’ve ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a
boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the
snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the
driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.



December 12 – The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we’ll definitely have a white
Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we’ll have so
much snow by the end of winter, that I’ll never want to see snow again.
I don’t think that’s possible. Bob is such a nice man, I’m glad he’s
our neighbor.



December 14 – Snow lovely snow! 8″ last night. The temperature dropped
to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath
away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is
the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything
again. I didn’t realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but
I’ll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn’t huff and
puff so.



December 15 – 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4×4 Blazer.
Bought snow tires for the wife’s car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the
freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I
think that’s silly. We aren’t in Alaska, after all.



December 16 – Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the
driveway putting down salt. Hurt like crazy. The wife laughed for an
hour, which I think was very cruel.



December 17 – Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to
stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate
her. Guess I should’ve bought a wood stove, but won’t admit it to her.
I hate it when she’s right. I can’t believe I’m freezing to death in
my own living room. December 20 – Electricity’s back on, but had another 14″ of the darn
stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Snowplow came by
twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they’re
too busy playing hockey. I think they’re lying. Called the only hardware
store around to see about buying a snow blower and they’re out. Might
have another shipment in March. I think they’re lying. Bob says I have
to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he’s lying.



December 22 – Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more
inches of the white crap fell today, and it’s so cold it probably won’t
melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to
shovel and then I had to pee. By the time I got undressed, peed and
dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a
plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he’s too busy.
I think he’s lying.



December 23 – Only 2″ of snow today! And it warmed up to 0! The wife
wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she
nuts!!! Why didn’t she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did
but I think she’s lying.



December 24 – 6″. Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel.
Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the jerk who drives that snow plow I’ll drag him through the snow and beat him with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the
street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I’ve just
been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and
open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the rotten
snowplow.



December 25 – Merry Christmas! 20 more inches of the crappy stuff tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. Geez I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she’s crazy. If I have to watch “It’s A
Wonderful Life” one more time, I’m going to stuff her into the microwave.



December 26 – Still snowed in. Why on earth did I ever move here? It
was all HER idea. She’s really getting on my nerves.



December 27 – Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze, plumber
came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to
replace all my pipes.



December 28 – Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed
in. That woman is driving me crazy!!!



December 29 – 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it
could cave in. That’s the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he
think I am?



December 30 – Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver he is now
suing me for a million dollars not only for the beating I gave him but also
for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his butt. The wife went
home to her mother. 9″ predicted.



December 31 – I set fire to what’s left of the house. No more
shoveling.



January 8 – Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they
keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

The Bible For Dummies
The New Testament

OVERVIEW: The New Testament of the Bible covers the events from the birth of Jesus, his teachings and healings and miracles, to his death and resurrection… also covers the early Church, Paul’s letters to various early church communities, and the fantastical book of Revelation.

QUIZ
1. What is Jesus’ last name?
2. What is the last book of the Bible?
3. What are the four Gospels?
4. How many brothers and sisters did Jesus have?
5. Who baptized Jesus? How old was Jesus at the time (Luke)? WHY Jesus??
6. What years of Jesus’ life are missing from the Bible?
7. What was Jesus first miracle?
8. What are the two greatest “commandments” according to Jesus?

NEW TESTAMENT THOUGHTS

1. The word “gospel” comes from “god-spell” meaning: Good News, or good tidings. This word comes from the Greek “euangelion” where we get the words for: evangelists, evangelism and evangelical (ELCA) – those who believe and proclaim their faith in Christ.

2. The names attached to the Gospels were not originally connected to them – but were added later based on the traditions of those who wrote them, as well as evidence from the Gospels themselves. Many of these early works were written anonymously, so readers would focus on the readings themselves and not the authors.

3. Matthew, Mark and Luke are the synoptic gospels (to view together) and John is the fourth Gospel. They have many similarities, but some differences as well:

• MATTHEW – Jesus is seen as the “fulfillment of the Law and the Prophets. Far from being a break from the Jewish faith, Jesus is consistent with and brings the Jewish faith to completion… Jesus is the new Moses.
• MARK – Jesus is the suffering Son of God. Jesus should have been received with honor, but instead was humiliated and suffered and died to pay for human’s wrongdoing. Jesus keeps his identity a secret from those who don’t believe in him.
• LUKE – Jesus is the Savior of the world. Jesus’ life and teachings were for everyone (Jew/non-Jew, slave/free, male/female). Jesus interacts with outsiders a lot like the poor, women and foreigners.
• JOHN – Jesus is the External One from heaven. John underscores Jesus has being external from us and having a divine nature. John is much more theological and philosophical than the other Gospels.

4. The early church “named God” The Trinity – not three gods, but one God in three persons. Those who formulated this doctrine even called it a “mystery.” But they also believed that it was our best attempt of explaining the evidence of the New Testament. This has tremendous implications on how you understand Jesus’ life… God himself came to earth as “His Son” and following his death and resurrection stayed with us as His own “Holy Spirit.”

5. Messiah comes from the Hebrew word for “anointed one.” In Greek, this is “christos” – hence the “name” Jesus Christ.

6. Incarnation: God becoming flesh in Jesus Christ… Annunciation: The birth announcement of the angel Gabriel to Mary… Sanctification: How we live out our holy-ness in our daily lives… Resurrection: The rising from the dead of our Lord Jesus (as opposed to resuscitation)… Justification: being justified under the law of God.

7. We do not know the exact date of Jesus’ birth. The determination of BC (before Christ) or AD (anno Domini – “year of our Lord”) was calculated in the sixth century… and the scholar who did the calculations (Dionysius Exiguus) missed by a few years… most scholars place Jesus’ birth around 5 or 6 BC – mainly due to Herod the Great was alive, and Herod died in 4 BC. (*Christmas replaced the Roman festival of Saturnalia which celebrated the winter solstice… so the birthday of the “sun” was replaced with the birthday of the “son.” Saturnalia used such symbols as: evergreen trees, mistletoe, holly, candles and gift-giving).

8. Does the Bible proclaim a Baptism by immersion, or was Jesus baptized by putting water on his head? (Is it important which we believe?)

9. The three temptations: provision (stones to bread), protection (jump off pinnacle) and power (worship me, I’ll give you the world).

10. Jesus calls disciples to be “fishers of people.” The fish became one of the earliest Christian symbols – the Greek letters for the word “fish” also stand for: Jesus Christ, Son of God, Savior. Look on the back of cars!

11. Jesus didn’t come to abolish the Law of God, but to fulfill it… and he does this by actually expanding the Law of God (murder/anger, adultery/lust). So what role does the Law play in our life, in our faith, or in our salvation?

Ole: (on the phone) Hello, is dis the desk tew American Airlines?
Sven: Yes it is.
Ole: I’d like to know how long it takes tew fly from Minneapolis tew Fargo.
Sven: Ok, just a minute.
Ole: Vell… if it has to go that fast, I think I’ll just take da bus.

Ole: Nice to see you Sven Junior – vat is wrong?
Sven Junior: Papa, I have da biggest feet in da third grade. Is dat because I’m
Norvegian?
Ole: No Sven Junior… dat’s because your nineteen years old!

Ole: Sven, do you know the difference between a Norvegian and a canoe?
Sven: No, I don’t.
Ole: A canoe will sometimes tip.

Ole: Hey Sven, stand in front of my car and tell me if da turn signals are working.
Sven: OK. (He looks) Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no…

Ole: Ole, yew know, I bought Lena a piano for her birt-day.
Sven: Ya, dat’s what I had heard Ole – how’s it going?
Ole: Well I persuaded her to switch to the clarinet.
Sven: Well, why is that Ole?
Ole: Because vith the clarinet, she can’t sing.

Ole: Hey Doc, I yust don’t know vat to do. Lena and me, vell, our sex life yust ain’t going dat vell.
Sven/Doc: Ole, all you need is some exercise. I vant you to walk 10 miles every day. You call me in a week, and tell me how it’s going.
**One week later, the phone rings in the doctor’s office**
Sven/Doc: Hello.
Ole: Doc, dis is Ole.
Doc: Hello Ole. Have you been walking 10 miles every day?
Ole: Yes.
Doc: And has your sex life improved?
Ole: Well, how in da heck vould I know – I’m 70 miles avay from home!

Ole: Vell Sven, what a great day fishin huh – sit’in in da boat on such a nice day.
Sven: Oh ya, we have never caught so many fish – von after the utter!
Ole: I wish we could mark that spot – it’s da best fishin I’ve seen since I was a boy.
Sven: I got some chalk in my tackle box – so why don’t I put an X right here on the side of the boat?
Ole (laughing): You goofy brother of mine… what if we don’t rent the same boat the next time?

Ole: Well Sven, I’ve got great news!
Sven: What’s that Ole?
Ole: Vell, you know how we’ve been talking about maybe moving to a more expensive apartment?
Sven: Ya.
Ole: Vell, now we don’t have tew move, the landlord just raised the rent!

Ole: Sven, I don’t know how we’re going to get this donkey into the barn… it’s darn ears are too long!
Sven: I have an idea, how about if ve yust raise the barn?
Ole: (thinking) I tink it vould be easier tew dig a trench.
Sven: No, you dummy, it’s da ears dat are to long, not dah legs!

Ole: Why is it, Sven, that whenever we play cards – yew bring your wife… and whenever we go fishin – yew bring your wife… and whenever we go bowling – yew bring your wife?
Sven: Have you notice that Lena is kinda… ugly?
Ole: Vell, ya.
Sven: Vell, dis way, I don’t never have to kiss her goodbye.

Ole: (old Ole Voice) Well Lena, I’m almost 92 and you’re 89. I only have one question for you: Vat ever happened tew our sex relations?

LENA: Vell Ole, I just don’t know. I don’t even tink ve even got a card from dem last Christmas.

Wednesday Night Study
How Do You Approach Scripture? (Luke 15)

The Parable of the Lost Son
11Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.
13″Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
17″When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.’ 20So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

Polyvalence: “multiple meanings” – the capacity for books/writings to hold different meanings for different people.

The Sources of Different Meanings:
1. “Gaps” in Stories – like the motivations of characters, the history of people/places (because we don’t have an infinite number of words!)
2. Social Location: “Who You Are” in terms of gender, age, economic status (An example might be “If slapped on one side of your cheek, turn the other.” You might interpret differently, if you have been slapped by your husband lately)
3. We Identify with different characters
4. Idealistic Empathy – We would “like to be” like certain characters (Example: Pastors almost always empathize with Jesus, laity almost never do!)
5. Conceptions of what “Meaning” Means! Some see it as Content (what the message or moral is), others see it as Effect (hwo the story makes us feel, or react)… Clergy almost always choose “Content,” Laity choose “Effect!” So when a parishioner says “meaningful sermon, Pastor” – it usually means that it made them FEEL something (Pastor things they LEARNED something!)

Practical Implication: Luther – “We are to fear and love God, so that…” (LAW is that which makes us fear God, GOSPEL is that which makes us LOVE God – we need to hear, understand, and feel both to “Hear” God’s word correctly!

PRODIGAL SON PARABLE
The Experiment: Got seminary students in USA to read story out loud – and then “tell the story” to the group. The group writes down what was put in, what’s left out…

In USA: only 6 out of 100 seminary students mentioned the Famine
In Russia: 84/100 – mentioned the Famine. (670,000 Russians died in WWII when the Germans laid siege to St. Petersburg for over 900 days… one-third died! So their view of potential starvation effects all their views on social issues.)
2/3 of Russians LEFT OUT the part of the son squandering his money. Why? Because what does it matter if there’s a famine!?

KEY: The parable is about: Repentance… with the others on repentance (the Lost Coin, and the Lost Sheep)… the son’s “sin” is that he put a price tag on “family.”

Russians: The son’s sin is that he wanted to be SELF-SUFFICIENT (didn’t want to NEED anyone else… but only be in a position of power where he could CHOOSE)
RUSSIAN CONCLUSION: The son is a fool that needs to learn wisdom
USA CONCLUSION: The son is wicked/bad and needs to “choose repentance” and be good.

RUSSIANS: The son fails because he foolishly did not see the Famine coming – so he’s not BAD, he’s FOOLISH. Bad is not the opposite of foolish, WISE is!
“DISSOLUTE LIVING” – literal meaning in Greek: not saving; wasteful.
– Secondary Meaning: Immoral
WESTERN Translations: debauchery, risky, sexual misconduct, sinful indulgence, wine-women-song, sinful life. EASTERN Translations: expensive things, life of luxury, spend thrift, costly purchase, things he could not afford

Repentance in the EAST: is about Rescue… in the WEST: Reform.
WEST: The boys gets up, goes back to his Father – Repentance is about choice.
EAST: The Father says: What has been lost, has been found (literally: “Rescued!”)

WEST: The older son accuses the younger of sleeping with prostitutes – we assume he is correct in his accusations (but he’s not correct in anything’s else!)
EAST: The older brother is slanderous – his accusation reveals HIS character!
ANN LAUNDERS: Those who check under the bed, have probably hid there before!
EAST: The Lost Sheep and the Lost Coin – do not “come to their senses” – they are FOUND and RESCUED (the sheep will run away again tomorrow if you give them a chance!)

ONLY CHANGE that happens in the Prodigal Son Story is importance: The son was NOT in the Father’s House… now he IS.

TANZANIA – What Did They Say?

- A couple mentioned the Famine.
- A couple mentioned the son’s Dissolute Living (immoral behavior)
- *But 80/100 said the trouble was: No one gave the boy anything to eat! (So Mark Powell asked: Why do you say that? They answered: Because that’s what it says: No one gave him anything to eat!)
IMMIGRANTS to other countries often lose money, can’t speak the language, and don’t know the customs. The Bible COMMANDS us to care for the stranger and give food to the hungry.
*Q: What kind of country wouldn’t give food to the hungry or medical care to the poor?!
A: A country without HONOR, without COMPASSION.

TANZANIA: The Foolish and the Wicked belong in the Father’s House (God)!

The “Bible For Dummies”

Top Ten Theological Concepts

1. Theology of Glory vs Theology of the Cross
The theologian of glory observes the world, the works of creation. With his intellect he perceives behind these the visible things of God, His power, wisdom, and generosity. But God remains invisible to him. The theologian of the cross looks to the Crucified One. Here there is nothing great or beautiful or exalted as in the splendid works of creation. Here there is humiliation, shame, weakness, suffering, and agonizing death… [That] “God can be found only in suffering and the cross”… is a bedrock statement of Luther’s theology and that of the Lutheran Church. Theology is theology of the cross, nothing else. A theology that would be something else is a false theology.

2. Law – Gospel
How Much/Have to/Fear – The Cross/Get to/Freedom
The relationship between God’s Law and the Gospel is a major topic in Lutheran and Reformed theology. In these traditions, the distinction between the doctrines of Law, which demands obedience to God’s will, and Gospel, which promises the forgiveness of sins in light of the person and work of Jesus Christ, is critical. It is used as a hermeneutical principle of biblical interpretation and a guiding principle in homiletics (sermon composition) and pastoral care.

3. Mercy
• Receiving love and forgiveness of God when we do NOT deserve it
• An unnatural act – only accomplished in a faith build on Christ
• Without mercy, we risk a cycle of unending violence
• In mercy – we choose love over justice, if need be.

4. Differentiation
• Balancing two life forces: togetherness (follow directives of others) and individuality (follow our own directives)… give up either and you become less of a person with less of a relationship.
• Well-differentiated people can argue without losing themselves, or becoming fused (don’t have to leave to keep a hold on self… can disagree without becoming embittered)
• Emotionally fused: room for only one opinion, one position.
• Differentiation: maintain self with those closest to you.
• When we need to be Needed and can’t settle for being Wanted – we perpetuate poor functioning in our partner so we can fulfill our own lack of self.
• Integrity (differentiation) is living according to your values/beliefs in the face of opposition – But it’s also the ability to CHANGE your values/beliefs when your concern for others dictates it.

5. Permission-Giving Congregations vs Permission-Withholding
• Growing churches are increasingly permission-giving in nature as they focus on accountability (after the action) instead of permission.
• Passion become “Making Disciples” not “Making Decisions.”
• Giving: What gifts of God do you bring and what do you need from the Body of Christ to exercise them? Withholding: What gifts do you bring, and what do we need done by you?
• Growing churches function more like Basketball teams than Football teams… the basic rules and boundaries are set, but it’s up to each player’s decisions as to what to do each time down the court.
• The Body of Christ is weakened when individual members function primarily on their own behalf (Bible calls it “sin”) – Servant leaders don’t feel entitled, and don’t want their pastor to be a personal chaplain.

6. Maintenance vs Mission
• Measuring Effectiveness… maintenance asks: How many visits are being made? How many new members? Mission: How many disciples are being made? How are people sharing their God-given gifts?
• Change: If thie proves to be too upsetting, we won’t do it… Mission: Will this increase our ability to reach those outside our church?
• Vision: Must be faithful to our past… Mission: faithful to our future.
• Newcomer: “I’d like to introduce you to some of our members.” Mission: “I’d like to introduce you to one of our pastors.”
• Maintenance Pastor: How can I meet this need? Mission: How can this need be met?
• Maintenance: Avoid conflict at all costs. Mission: Conflict is the price of change and progress – conflict causes some grief, but it won’t keep us from doing what needs to be done.

7. Evangelism Vision
• To share faith we need to know our faith: What do you believe? Why do you believe it? How does that get lived out in your daily life?
• U.S. Christian population in 1990: 86%. 2001: 77%. By the year 2042, Christians will be a minority in the United States.
• Perception on non-Christians of Christians: Christianity has become a fundamental, law-orientated, violent response out of fear & self-preservation.
• Justification by grace: the way a cat carries a kitten… by Law: the way a mother monkey carries her baby (hang on!)
• Martin Luther wrote six treatises regarding Islam and fought for the publishing of the first Koran with the city Council of his day – and wrote the preface to the first published Koran too!

8. We only love God as much as we love the person we love the least.
(Spoken by Dorothy Day)

Ten Steps for Resolving Couple Conflict

” Don’t find fault, find a remedy.”
—Henry Ford

Every couple has differences and disagreements. But healthy couples find ways to resolve marital disputes without turning them into marital wars. Couples who accept and appreciate the fact that their partner has independent opinions tend to reach successful and satisfying resolutions.
When you have issues that are ongoing, use this Ten Step approach to deal with them. The exercise may boost your success in ending issues that resist resolution.
As simple as the Ten Step exercise looks, remember it is not a game. Take time to work on all of the steps. Focus on one issue at a time and you will discover new solutions to old problems.

1. Set a time and place for discussion.

2. Define the problem or issue of disagreement.

3. How do you each contribute to the problem?

4. List past attempts to resolve the issue that were not successful.

5. Brainstorm. List all possible solutions.

6. Discuss and evaluate these possible solutions.

7. Agree on one solution to try.

8. Agree on how each individual will work toward this solution.

9. Set up another meeting. Discuss your progress.

10. Reward each other as you each contribute toward the solution.

Top Ten Ole and Lena Jokes

1. Ole: Lars, I heard that you saved a man’s life in a restaurant last week.
Lars: Ya, I sure did. I advised him not to eat the Lutefisk.

2. Ole was on an airplane trip. His seat partner was a gorgeous young woman who made Ole’s heart skip a beat. “Where are you going,” asked the young woman. “Minneapolis,” answered Ole. “Same here,” said the gal. I’m going to Minneaplois to meet the man of my dreams… because I read in a magazine that the sexist, most romantic men in the world are NORWEIGIANS and AMERICAN INDIANS. By the way, what is your name?” Said Ole shyly, “Ole Red Feather.”

3. Ole said that the way to identify a funeral procession in North Dakota is to notice if the combines have their lights on.

4. Ole says Americans are funny: First they put sugar in a glass to make it sveet, a tvist of lemon to make it sour, gin to make it varm dem up, and ice to cool it off. Den dey say, “Here’s to you,” and den dey drink it demselves.”

5. Ole and Lars were visiting France. They went to an Oyster bar where the waitresses were topless. Said Lars to the waitress, “Ve vould like a dozen oysters… and can you bring dem vun at a time?”

6. When Ole and Lena got married and went on their honeymoon. Lena was a bit bashful. As they walked up to the hotel, Lena said, Vhat can ve do so dey von’t know ve’re newlyveds? Answered Ole: YOU carry the luggage.”

7. Lena was visiting with her friend Freda Tofteskov, who explained how her husband Hjalmar had courted her with a rather unusual marriage proposal. Hjalmar told Freda that if she married him, he would either churn 10 pounds of butter, or write her a poem. “I see,” said Lena, “So it looks like you married him for butter or verse.”

8. When Lena tried to give the phone operator her phone number on a long distance call, the operator inquired, “Do you have an area code?” – “”No,” said Lena. “Yust a little sinus trouble.”

9. Ole was filling out a questionnaire. To the question regarding church preference, Ole put down: “Red brick with white trim.”

10. Ole calls up his doctor and says: “Every morning at 5 I have a BM. Fine says the doctor, that’s very healthy… so what seems to be your problem? – “Vell,” said Ole. “I don’t vake up until six.”